Skip to main content

The Man



When I was 10, shopping at Sears Roebuck with my mom, I would wander around the men's section and pretend I was a grown woman, shopping for her man. I would ruffle through the rugged red and black plaid shirts, looking for that rare extra extra large. My man was very big and outdoorsy. A guy's guy, but bighearted and true. I'd find jeans, socks, underwear and undershirts, and maybe a surprise: socket wrenches from the tool department.

Later, while setting the table for dinner, I'd lift the lid on the big pot on the stove and stir, letting the steam from Mom's vegetable soup fill the kitchen. How homey I make my home, our home, for my man. I lay out the Parmesan cheese. Salt and pepper. Saltines. Big blue and white bowls. Big spoons. Glasses for milk. Cloth napkins.

I ladle the soup into the bowls and anticipate my man's appreciation. Hi smiles at me and tells me he loves me. And my soup.

It's been almost 11 months since I met Kevin. When he reads this, I'm sure he'll have a big laugh. A big extra extra large laugh. But he might see in himself that man I had created in the Sears Roebuck men's section when I was a little girl. He's a big, outdoorsy guy. Knows how to use a chainsaw, fish, fix a car. He's bighearted and true. Kind, genuine, honest and protective. And, while this didn't enter into the story back then, he's wicked smart and funny.

Dating post-cancer, post double-mastectomy, post reconstruction is a tricky thing. But God smiled on me when I met Kevin last September 1. I'm filled with gratitude.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"Big hearted & true", just perfect for you. The 2 of you ~ really nice looking couple. Happiness shines from the inside. Congratulations on finding each other. After the long roads but just in time to fully understand what really is important.
Nancy (Church)
July 19, 2010 at 7:05 PM
lahdeedah said…
Well, dang. If writing here brings you around, I'll keep on doing it! How are you, Church? I've missed you! and thanks for the sweet words. I'm really happy and hope you are, too, Want to hear what's been going on...
July 19, 2010 at 11:28 PM
Anonymous said…
You had better keep writing! It has always been a gift of yours. Your journey and how you made it beautiful, explaining all the ins outs ups downs was and is soooooo inspirational! Often the only way any of us can help others is just by leading our lives in the best way possible and letting others get the visuals. Your photos are great. I'll look for your email someplace on this site. Otherwise ask "THE DEENZ" for mine! Gosh....I AM SO DARN HAPPY TO SEE HOW YOU ARE THRIVING!
Church
July 26, 2010 at 9:21 AM
lahdeedah said…
Hey Church,

It's sooo good to be in contact with you. You've been on my mind for a whole year. I want to hear how you've been, what you've been doing, and what you've been thinking about!

I'll email Deena for your direct line.

xo
July 27, 2010 at 10:33 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Not About the Bike

It's not about the bike...it's about the hair. But you already know that, as I go on endlessly (and some would say annoyingly) about it. In the event that you live farther than 75 miles of my house--and therefore cannot hear me every morning at 6:30a.m., sobbing and spewing profanities in front of the mirror as I wield a giant round brush, a 2000-horse power blow dryer, a pricy flat iron and four different hair potions in a harried rush to get my chemo curls (only kind of) under control before racing out the door to work--here’s a hair update: It absolutely defies the laws of gravity. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them my hair grew back in a fro. Ergo, the faux-finish fro foto. I’m not quite ready to debut the fro without the help of Apple’s Photo Booth effects. And Ocho was kind enough to join in the foto fun. I don’t have a good transition for this, as it has nothing to do with my hair, but I rode my mountain bike up Mount Montara with Ocho today. The bike trail is...
20 comments
Read more

I Love Me (Day Three)

I’ve just completed Day Three of abstaining from self-derogatory comments. How’s it going for me? Let me just say that it’s the self-esteem equivalent of Everest without oxygen. (And I say that with a lot of self love, as usual.) The 31-day plan came about one night at the end of November while driving home from work. As usual, I called Sam. We kvetched about the usual stuff—including the guys in our lives—during which time I told Sam about a conversation I’d recently had with Ocho: [Scene: Ocho and I are walking my border collie, Marge, back from the beach.] Me: “I am one more day closer to being super cute.” Ocho: “?” Me: “With each new day, I am 24 hours closer to being skinnier and having longer hair.” Ocho: “Hm,” Me: “And then you’ll tell me I’m pretty again.” Ocho: [making eye contact] “I tell you you’re pretty all the time.” Me: “No you don’t.” Ocho: “Yes, I do. You’re just too fucking stupid to remember it (big smile).” “That’s a great line,” said Sam, quickly adding that I abs...
27 comments
Read more

Here.

I’ve been gone. I took a break from my blog to tend to my kids, my job, my man, my house, my health, my spirit. I’ve also been tending to my sobriety. I quit drinking five months ago. Not a long time in recovery circles, but long enough to know that this has been a life-changing decision for me. On December 23, I came home from work. I opened a bottle of chardonnay and poured a glass while I cooked dinner. Such a civil way to end the day, to take the edge off. I stirred the spaghetti sauce and poured another glass. An hour later, I went out to the garage to put the empty green wine bottle in the recycling bin with the other empty green wine bottles. There have been times in my life when I took my recycling down to The Recyclery so that my empty green wine bottles wouldn’t be exposed out there in the bin on the curb, clearly visible to my neighbors. Fourteen wine bottles in the recycling bin looks like you had a party. Unless you have fourteen wine bottles in your recycling bin every tw...
18 comments
Read more