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I Love Me (Day Three)

I’ve just completed Day Three of abstaining from self-derogatory comments. How’s it going for me? Let me just say that it’s the self-esteem equivalent of Everest without oxygen. (And I say that with a lot of self love, as usual.)

The 31-day plan came about one night at the end of November while driving home from work. As usual, I called Sam. We kvetched about the usual stuff—including the guys in our lives—during which time I told Sam about a conversation I’d recently had with Ocho:

[Scene: Ocho and I are walking my border collie, Marge, back from the beach.]

Me: “I am one more day closer to being super cute.”

Ocho: “?”

Me: “With each new day, I am 24 hours closer to being skinnier and having longer hair.”

Ocho: “Hm,”

Me: “And then you’ll tell me I’m pretty again.”

Ocho: [making eye contact] “I tell you you’re pretty all the time.”

Me: “No you don’t.”

Ocho: “Yes, I do. You’re just too fucking stupid to remember it (big smile).”

“That’s a great line,” said Sam, quickly adding that I absolutely have to stop saying negative things about myself.

“I will if you will,” I challenged. “In fact, let’s not say anything bad about ourselves for 31 days; the whole month of December.”

“Yes, yes,” Sam instantly agreed. “And we’ll quickly see what percentage of our conversations is dedicated to dissing ourselves, which will make us want to abandon the practice and will free us up for more positive communication!” Well, she didn’t say that exactly…but she did agree to the plan.

My new sister-in-law is also in on the plan. She and I were sitting in my kitchen having a glass of Frog’s Leap sauvignon blanc while the Thanksgiving turkey roasted in the oven when I told her about the 31-day plan. Reluctant at first, she bought into it when I told her we’d take ourselves to a day spa if we were successful.

And we will be. Although, I haven’t heard from Sam yet, and it is December 3. Hey, Sam, when you’re done thinking all those good thoughts about yourself, give me a call so I can tell you how great my hair looked today and how those pants made my ass look sooo tiny!

PS: Please take a look at this lovely little Santa that Deena from "Can I Be Pretty in Pink?"" is sending my way as a gift. >snif!< Thank you so much, Deena! I'll be sending you my most powerful prayers and vibes for your surgery on Dec. 12. So happy I've met you :)


Sherry said…
This is much better than the "contest" on Seinfeld!!! :)
You can do it, you can do it...a day at the THAT is a treat to savour in the soul for thinking such wonderful things about yourself. You go girl(s) and I have all faith in you that you'll do it!!
lahdeedah said…
We are the masters of our domain! :) And I would tell you how hard this is and what an accomplishment it will be, but it would involve all sorts of non-positive comments...and I refuse to lose! Thanks for the faith :)
bella said…
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Jenster said…
What a great idea. I don't know if I could do it. Self-deprecating is what I do. It's my humor - maybe my defense mechanism. I dunno.

You rock!
lahdeedah said…
Hey Jen,

Self-deprecating is my shtick, too. And I fully intend to revert back to it. For now, though, this is a fun exercise!

And I don't know about your self-deprecating humor being a defense mechanism. You have such a terrific way of taking difficult or everday information and making it shiny and fun! I love reading your posts.

whymommy said…
This is a GREAT idea! Although, I have to admit, the first thing I thought when I saw your picture was WHAT A CUTE hairstyle it is. No kidding. And not just because I'm having a "no hair" day myself. My friend Consuela has a cut like yours and I've always admired it. So, whether you like it or not, at least one person (me) really thinks it looks great!
Sherry said…
Love the Santa Deena has made and is sending you...but you are so wonderful, how could she not?!?! This is the beauty of cancer...that we connect with others in a way we would never have done before and even going through our own challenge (as she is at the moment while awaiting surgery) she is thinking of others and repaying kindness. God may work in mysterious ways but that is also part of the beauty of life...
bella said…
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anna jarzab said…
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KT said…
Hi Jill, what a neat idea for a challenge. A nice positive thing you have going!

Just there any consequence for reverting to the "old way", like a quarter in a jar for each offense? You could donate it to charity or let the winner take all.... or is that a bad attitude to make a competition out of it?
Anonymous said…
I use the name "Church" as that is my business. For some reason that name is being "googling challenged" lately. I had thought about commenting and decided against it...but then... you and I both "know" Deena from her blog. I found your blog from Deena's and I also found some other's from yours that are great! I reeeeeaaaaalllly like the rebel1in8clothing designs! They are more than very fine.
I keep having you "come up in my mind" and so I thought I would just say to you...that black and white photo you have on your blog is also sooooo very fine! You may think of entering it in this international photography magazine that actually just had it's annual black&white photo awards in their mag, zine? whatever. I will check the name of the publication when I am back at the bookstore and let you know....just in case you think about it.
How you write, what you communicate, it is very freeing...for me anyways.
lahdeedah said…
Sherry: Can you believe Deena? What an amazing woman. She's less than a week away from her surgery and still focusing on other people. I'm plain impressed. You're right (as usual) about cancer: I've connected in real, meaningful, relevant ways with women I would never have known without it. You included. You're the best.

Katie: I love hearing from you. And I think we should have some natural consequences involved (spoken like a real mom). I'll run the quarter idea up the flagpole with Sam and my sister in law. I'm sure they'd think it's a terrific idea. Also, my sister in law is this incredibly sweet, kind woman, but she's as competitive as a triathlete. This will totally get her going :)

Church: Hello! You seem like the kind of person who just wags my tail: honest, kind, compassionate :) Thanks so much! I'd love to check out your blog. Do you have one? Thanks for the kind words!

bella said…
my comments won't go through.
so this is me, trying again.
testing, testing. 123
bella said…
ok, now my comment is showing up in my email. So i'll try again.
What I've written a couple times here is that I am moved and inspired by this challaege you've taken on.
I hope you don't mind that I placed a link on my blog today for this post.
I think women everywhere should unite and follow your delightful lead.
lahdeedah said…
Bella, thank you! I think your writing is just stunning, so it's flattering to hear something in mine resonated with you.

I loved your wellness wednesday post.

Anonymous said…
Yep! Here I is!
and my business visuals: and on Deena's site, look for Church.
Now that's out of the way...I hope everyone that can will watch the CNN Hero's awards and also Sheryl Crow's song...what a great media event..finally! So, let's keep going and help heal eachother and others through our spoken words.
I am/was? a "retired women's abuse addiction specialist" who has been a lifetime artist/designer, moved because of "burn out" from Portland OR area to the very rural Missouri midwest.
I think that just about does it for me. Are you getting a chance to see those EXTREME SURFING WAVES at your beach?!
And because I am married for years to my husband I can say this without suspicion....How cute are you kid, with that short dark do?!!
Jena Strong said…
Hallejujah. I came to your blog via Beyond the Map and love this post. Imagine looking in the mirror first thing in the morning and saying, "Hey, gorgeous." Thank you for this reminder!
lahdeedah said…
Hey Jena,

I'm happy you found me through Bella! I'm going to check out your blog after I write this...

And I'm actually going to take your suggestion and look in the mirror this morning and say, "Hey, gorgeous!" And I'm going to take Bella's advice and not follow that comment up with a negative one...

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Jena Strong said…
Hi gorgeous!

I'd love to add a link to your blog on my blog, if it's okay with you.

xo Jena
lahdeedah said…
Church, going to check you out on your blog now :)

And I have a giant smile on my face from your "how cute are you kid with that short dark do" comment. Makes me feel like I've known you for a long time.

You're intriguing! Love that you've done meaningful work and have a creative side.

I lived in Portland, too. Also St. Charles, Missouri and Shawnee Mission, Kansas. How are you liking the midwest? Aren't the people there just so real and down-to-earth?

Off to work. Happy I "met" ya!
lahdeedah said…

I've been having trouble getting Blogger comments via email, and I just found yours tucked away here in unmoderated comments (?)

Thank you so much for stopping by and for the super nice compliment on the super short 'do :) It's actually quite a bit longer now. I would say what it looks like, but that wouldn't be in the spirit of the 31-day plan...

I quickly checked out your blog and will go there again today when I have some time to really focus (have a work deadline). From my brief visit, I can tell I'm going to like hanging out there!

Warmest regards,

lahdeedah said…
Jena: I'd love a link to my blog from yours! I've already added you to mine :)

All: Having trouble with the comments function. I've deleted some duplicates and an ad disguised as a real comment (good grief).
Jena Strong said…
We are linked! Now that is good mojo. I hope you're having a beautiful day.

xo J
SweetAnnee said…
JILL...I love your hair.and you are so CUTE!!
Just love yourself, you are gorgeous..
lahdeedah said…
Hey Deena,

Thank you! Let me just say it's growing on me (no pun intended).

I left a message on your blog, thanking you for my sweet Santa. You are an amazing artist. And, again, I can't really believe you found the time and energy to focus outside of yourself given your surgery is next Wednesday.

You're beautiful inside and out. Or as some would say, you're the total package! Rich is a lucky dude. And now he has you all to himself in the house... so happy you got dad-in-law settled into a good place.

Be thinking about you this week, friend. Stay strong! Know that we're all holding you tight.

Much love.
Dee said…
BEST plan ever! Seriously! I need to make my friends do this haha (okay okay probably myself as well).

Keep your head up, keep powering on, and just know you're amazing and gorgeous and wonderful and deserve nothing but happiness.

lahdeedah said…
Hey Dee,

Hope you've been good! Thanks for this. So far, the plan is working wonderfully :)



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